Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Tuesday....After a Wreckless and Used Day

When I was a teenager I went through the roller coaster of "liking" and "loving" different bands, groups, and sounds.  Whether it was the hard core ska-sounds of the early 'No Doubt', or the alternative beats and rhythms of 'Green Day' and 'Weezer', I liked them all.  I would listen to 'Boys to Men', 'Bone Thugs-n-Harmony', Janet Jackson, Michael Jackson, and then in turn listen to 'Skillet', Rebecca St James and Sarah Masen.  Eclectic.  I've always been eclectic.

Sarah Masen sang a song called 'Tuesday'.  It's stuck in my head, the sound resonating in my ears.  I cannot tell you why this one album I have of hers has stuck with me throughout the years, but I love it.  Perhaps it's the memories.  Maybe it is the fact that the album contains fun, happy songs, and then it turns around to have the somber, haunting melodies of a Fiona Apple.  'Tuesday' is one of those songs.

I picture myself listening to it while there is rain falling against my window as I gaze reflectively outside... 

Day set, scatters of clouds in the distance
They whitewash the backdrop of secrets
Whispering shadows of blue
In more delicate hues

And finally, I stopped for a breath in the evening
And suddenly, I was caught by the scenery
Painting a picture of You

Tuesday.  It's a Tuesday.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.  Nothing excited.  Nothing terrible.  And truth be told, I'm alright with that!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Let's Just be Real Here!

As if I didn't have enough incredibly fun things occurring in my life, I got this stupid urinary tract infection.  What the?  I honestly thought you had to be sexually active to get that jazz!  Plus, I'm a clean person!!!  Ug.  So, over a week ago I went to the walk-in clinic and was diagnosed with a doosey that (luckily) hadn't reached my kidneys.  I was in loads of pain though.  Then, sixty bucks later, I went to get my 3 days of antibiotics for another fifteen bucks of cold hard cash.

Did I mention ever that I need a CAR?  A uti, not in my budget!

After my three days of that fun.  My lady business came to town.  Sorry, I'm 30 now, I can talk about my lady business if I want to.  Just sayin'.  I still felt funky.  Besides, who's to say things go away?  Am I to just trust that because my symptoms left that I'm now magically healed?  Cue last Friday, my return visit to the walk-in clinic.  

Now, the walk-in that I go to (because I don't have a doctor and to that point hadn't been to one since my early teen years - and even that was just for sports physicals) is in a grocery store.  So, here I am, at a walk-in clinic that has no bathrooms.  Therefore, I have to march through the store with my paper bag; absolutely positive that the entire world and every employee of the store are glaring at my with judgement in there eyes, and pee in a cup.  Then, I have to make the walk of shame back to the clinic, back through the store, to hand them my doggie bag of pee.  I felt so dirty.  I felt like everyone looking on was casting judgement about me having a drug test or std or something.  I desperately wanted to say, "No.  You've got the wrong idea!  I'm a virgin, I promise!"  But then in my mind they were all going to stone me anyway, so what did it matter?

Test two: failed.  Infection returned, although better.  Here I am on my second round of antibiotics. 

One doctor visit - $60. 

SEVEN days of antibiotics - $30. 

$165 later, and still no car. 

The bonus is, apparently baths are hurting me.  I love baths, and now I can't really take them.  After my first infection my brain was all, "Take baths, Heidi.  They are soo cleeean."  What the heck ever!  I told this lady (aka Doctor) and she was like, "Bad move."  Now that I'm 30, baths (for me) have become the Antichrist.  Awesome.

Please pray that this infection gets the heck out of dodge.  I'm freaked about it.  I'm a hypochondriac by nature, so immediately my mind thinks my body is failing or something.  Plus, since I started the new meds on Friday I have been completely wiped out and incredibly sore.  Every muscle in my back and body is sore for some reason, which only fuels my thoughts that something is wrong. 

Other than that, I finished season one of Criminal Minds on dvd, and now am on to season two.  Good times.

I want to marry Doctor Spencer Ried.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Oh, Wise Google...

Due to the slow, rainy, boringness of the week I have decided to follow in my fellow blogger (and friend), Brianne's, footsteps with a little game that she invented a while back.

Here's the deal (I'm switching the rules up just a bit): I chose eleven questions to pose to the mighty Google search engine. I typed in each question as it's written below, no quotation marks. The answers to each question will be the first sentence of the first result summary. My answers are weird and even include a quote from a favorite movie of mine.  Enjoy!

1.  Should I take a nap today?
Anyone who knows me knows that my favorite pastime is napping.

2.  If I ever get published, discovered, or rich, where should I move to?
If Sarah Palin ever becomes president, don't look for Hillary Clinton to pack up and leave the United States.

3.  How will I meet my future husband?
So, i have a mini crush on a guy.

4.  When the heck will I find the perfect car for me and my budget?
Here’s the challenge: My editor wants an economical and reliable car for his teenage daughter.

5.  Which is better, ‘Toy Story’ or ‘Shrek’?
Theatergoers who stick around for the credits for current releases “Toy Story 3,” “Shrek Forever After,” “The A-Team,” “Iron Man 2,” “Marmaduke” or “The Last Airbender” can spot the names of dozens of Aggie “vizzers” — graduates from Texas A&M University’s master’s degree program in visualization sciences — who were leading contributors to each film.

6.  Isn't my phone pretty?
I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to defend it. Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it.

7.  If I tried to run a mile right now, would I die?
Just ran one a few hours ago.

8.  Should I go see “Swell Season” at Ravinia next month?
That sounds like a great band in a great setting!

9.  I don’t golf: should I go to the driving range?
Golf is a great game: sometimes rewarding, often frustrating but highly addictive.

10.  When will I get hitched?
Mr Benigno "Noynoy" Aquino III will become the Philippines' first bachelor president when he is sworn in on June 30.

11.  Will I ever stop saying, “That’s what she said”?
Who can't stop saying these jokes?

Thank you, and have a nice day!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

It Smells like Onion Rings and I'm Tired.

It's Tuesday.  Last night some pretty fantastic storms came tearing through my part of Wisconsin.  About 35 miles from here there were actual tornado touch downs and quite a bit of damage.  Around here though, beautiful lightening.  There is nothing quite like a true electric storm.  The calm eeriness of the night.  Still and silent.  The occasional gust of wind which kicks up some of the scattered leaves, branches or random trash tossed in the street, but all in all, it's very quiet. Storms where there is no rain, they're the best, you can stand outside and prop your head up for the show.

It was probably around 11pm and the sky was black, coupled with the flashes of lightening which lit the horizon with a vast assortment of violet hues and ominous clouds.  Yet in an instant, you were returned to the darkened state of nothingness.

I loved it.

I stayed up way too late eating chewy lemonheads & friends and chasing the storm from the safety of my Mom's desk chair.  It was brilliant.

Today, however, I'm tired and the onions I picked off of my sandwich at lunch have now made the room smell of onion rings on a summer's day.  Yum?

Friday, June 18, 2010


It's Friday and...

- I haven't blogged this week

- I forgot to take the garbage out this morning

- I painted my nails last night and now I hate the color that I chose.  Isn't it funny how once something like that bothers you, it..REALLY bothers you?  I type all day long.  All I will notice is that my nails are more "peachy" than they are "pink".  Annoying.

- I didn't have time to shave this morning, therefore the shorts I laid out are going to remain there as I sweat it out in jeans.


In other news, I am inspired to have my own photo shoot tomorrow morning.  Can't find anyone to come out and play with me at sunrise, though.  Darn.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Cry Baby

Cry Baby. 

I'm not talking about the movie (of the same name), starring Johnny Depp, either.  However, it is worth noting because that movie does by all accounts rock.

I am talking about the sour gum.  On of the most exciting additions to the candy world when I was a kid.

Back when sour things hit the scene with full force, Cry Baby's led the way.  Sure there were other contenders, notably worthy oopponents such as; War Heads, Sour Straws, and Tear Jerkers.  But Cry Baby's, well, they were the cat's meow. 

When the sour phase began I was on that bandwagon in a minute!  I aced my friends when it came to not pulling faces while suffering through the hell of sour that ripped apart the taste buds in your mouth.  In fact, I rather enjoyed it!  Sour things became a delicacy to me.  To this day I still find satisfaction in a box of Sour Patch Kids or Lemonheads.  

Last night, however, I realized that I am getting older.  New flash, right?  Thanks.  But seriously, I came to the realization (this morning, actually) that tearing up my mouth for fun and competition - while being fun, yes, is great - the aftermath bites.

One twenty five cent bag of Cry Baby's contains 5 different flavoured gumballs; yellow, red, blue, green and orange.  The goal: To one at a time suck a Cry Baby until it's coating dissolves, then and only then could it be chewed.  Then, on to the next color.  At no point in time may the Cry Baby be removed from your mouth in the process - if it is, well, then you're a pansy. 

Yellow - my favourite when I was a child.  Lemon.  Yum.  Sour, yes, but very good.

Red - Hey, this is getting more sour and I don't know why I'm doing this.

Blue - Mmm... Blue Raspberry.  Blue Raspberry and HOLY CRAP THE SIDES OF MY MOUTH BELOW MY JAW ARE ACHING!



After a few moments of dealing with what I can only imagine is tantamount to child birth with no drugs, I chewed the now flavorless gum and relieved myself with a sip of Mt. Dew and three chewy Atomic Fireballs.

All in a days work.

NOT!  Enter TODAY, my mouth is so raw and tore up that it physically HURTS to eat!  Son of a gun!  Small price to pay for mastering the art of Cry Baby's though.  Yeah, I've still got it. 

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

No New Groceries

This month, the month of June, is 'no new groceries' month.  Mainly because I don't have a car, but also because, who knows what I have in my cupboards that I can be creative with.  So far I've dined on frozen corn dogs with a side of barley, snap peas and carrots.  Weird, yet satisfying.

Yesterday for lunch I mixed leftover gnocchi with some garlic-salt-seasoned sandwich steak.  For those who are not blessed enough to know what sandwich steak is; it is simply very thinly sliced steak that you can use for sandwiches.  I like to cut it up and cook it in a pan, seasoned with garlic salt.  I usually eat it in a pita pocket with alfalfa sprouts, cucumbers, shredded mozz cheese a bit of mayo and a squirt of creamy french dressing - so very yummy!  But for yesterday's lunch, I just mixed it in with the gnocchi and ate it that way.  Not too shabby.  Side for that meal, a small baggie of Cinnamon Pecan Special K cereal.

Actually, I have 2 baggies of the same cereal for lunch today.  I think I luck out though because I know I have change in my desk at work, so I should be able to add some chips or a candy bar in the mix today.

No clue what dinner tonight will bring... Should I venture into the cans and boxes, or stick with the frozens?

Monday, June 7, 2010

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles....I'll walk.

For most people the idea of a new car is thrilling, exciting even.  The thought of researching deals, figuring out financing, looking at special features, styles and colors is fantastic.  This is simply NOT the case for me.  I hate it.  I am forced into the worst place I could be right now.  When nothing else in the world could stress me out, my car broke down and now my friends and family are pushing (helpfully) me to purchase a vehicle that I don't really have money for.  Let's make the poor girl have another payment to make every month.

The payments aren't even the part that's really killing me either.  It's the process.  As a child I absolutely hated Math.  Hate is a strong word, I know, but it's true.  I hated it.  I had to have tutors and constantly be reminded of how stupid I was.  People who understood the problem tried to help me, but their understanding of the problem just pissed me off, really.  I've reached that point with the quest for a car.  My hours of research and finding good deals, shot down time and time again.  I give up.  I can't do it.  I don't want to deal with this.  Like I was with Math, I just want to scream and (literally) pull my hair.  I want to punch my wall and rip or break something. 

I can't do this.  I cannot do it.

My first car was Pepper.  Dr. Pepper.  My family couldn't afford to get me a car, nor would they anyway, so my best friend's Father sold it to me for one dollar.  I loved it.  It was a maroon Renault Alliance.  Like this one, only a different color.  I believe it was an '82, or maybe an '85. 

Mine was a four door automatic and it overheated every time I was in the drive-thru at Burger King.  I loved it.  It had a tape player and it was sweet!  It had so many problems, due to age.  I did all the work on it myself, with my Dad.  At 17 years old I changed the battery, the battery cables, the starter, the starter relay/ignition switch, belts...you name it, all the way to the easy stuff; like wiper blades and fluid.  Sadly, when I was 18 the brakes and everything to do with them crapped out.  It would cost more than the car was worth to fix it.  Bye Bye, Pepper.

Enter Gertrude: (photo is of a likeness, not my actual car.  Mine rode inches from the ground because the shocks, springs and basically everything else was pretty bad.  Not to mention the exhaust!  Let's just say you could hear me coming!)

Gertrude was my second car and pretty much a loner from my Dad, really.  A 1985 Buick Riveria.  I could, potentially, fit the whole neighborhood; 3 dogs, four babies and 6 bikes in that thing - except for the fact that it was absolutely FULL of my Dad's tools and random garbage.  I didn't care, it got me around.  For about a year I drove a boat.  It was my ghetto hoopty, and I loved it.  I was just happy to have a vehicle.

As with any car, Gertrude kicked it.  I paid for an @$$ ton of repairs only to have something be broken, by the shop mind you, that pretty much totalled it.  The shop wouldn't be held responsible, however, because it was an issue of something rusting through.  So, even though THEY bumped it, THEY caused the hole, I was the one who was screwed.  I was yet again left car-less.

I loved each of those cars, even when other's stuck their noses up at me.  I never needed a "nice" ride.  I've always felt blessed just to have SOMETHING.

Enter Beatrice:

My 1995 Geo Prizm.  It's still too soon to talk about it.  She's in my backyard, slowly wasting away.  She's been deemed unsafe for the road and I can no longer drive her.  I got her before I moved out of my parent's house.  She was with me through September 11th.  She drove me to Milwaukee when my Mom was dying of cancer.  She drove my friend Pam to and from many cancer appointment.  She moved me and all my belongings 7 times. She's lasted me a decade.  I couldn't have gotten a better car or a better deal. 

After Gertrude I had $3000 I could borrow and spend.  Knowing that, my good friend (retired from the business of used car sales) went on a hunt for me and bought me this car - Beatrice.  I didn't even see it before he bought it.  We'd gone looking a few times, but he found this deal and couldn't pass it up.  At that time, she retailed for over $6000.  I purchased her and licensed her for $3500. 

I will never forget Eddie driving her to my house and me seeing her for the first time.  Love.  No tape player, no cd player.  No extra anythings.  I didn't care.  I lived without them.  It was a great car.  I learned to drive stick shift in that car.

And here I sit today...


I'm 30 years old and everyone seems to think I know, or should know what I'm doing.  I'm poor.  I've always been poor.  I've never had the luxury of getting something on my own.  I've never had to research and see what I would like.  I've never had to do any of this.  It's easy, if you have money, to pick out something and just go for it.  It's easy, when you have a knowledge of cars, to jump in and wheel and deal - I hate even talking on the phone!  The thought of facing a salesman terrifies me.  I detest them.  I smell them a mile away, and I run.  I cannot do this.  I've never gotten anything I wanted.  It's just the truth.  I'm not complaining at all, just stating fact.  I don't even know where to begin.  And what's better yet is that when I express this fact - I get advice!  I DON'T WANT IT!!!!  I'm not asking for it!  In fact, advice is what is stressing me out.

Advice sends me right back to that desk, in school.  Math class and I don't get the problem, or the solution.

I just want to go draw stars on my notebook, or shoot tiny folded papers like little missiles through the air with a rubber band.

I'll walk.  I don't care.  For goodness sakes, just let me walk!

Thursday, June 3, 2010


I took the bus to work this morning.  Or, I took it a mile or so away from work and walked the rest of the way.  It was an adventure.  I liked it.  And now, I'm very, very, tired.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

No Car.

Yes.  I said "no car", not "new car".  *sigh*

In about a half hour I will be picked up by my lovely sister.  She will drive me across town where I will pay just under a hundred bucks to pick up my car.  I will then drive my car to my driveway, and park it.  To fix it would be thousands of dollars.  Yeah.  Cause clearly I've got THAT kind of cash just laying around.  Not quite.

Tomorrow, I take the bus almost 2 hours earlier than I usually leave.  I ride it to the final stop, about a mile from work, and then I hike it.  After work, I'll find out just how long it takes to walk almost 4 miles home after working all day long. 

At least it will still be light out when I get home.

Car Troubles, Pursuit of Love, and Mosquito Bites

Car problems never seem to happen at the time when you have a massive windfall of money.  Actually, I've never had a massive windfall of money, so I guess I cannot accurately make that assumption.  Regardless, I find myself without a car today while the car Doctor checks her out.  I'm anxiously awaiting "the call".  I was anticipating it arriving around 11, but now it's just past noon and still no word.  Can that be good? 

My good friend is off on an adventure of a lifetime.  I worried about her.  Just like in the movies, she flew halfway across America to pursue the "one that got away".  She's laying it all on the line for a chance at love and no regrets.  I worry for her heart, a lot.  But, being the hopeless romantic that I am, I do wish for the fairy tale happy ending.  A wedding.  A kiss.  Babies.  Love.  The whole nine-yards.  I look forward to hearing of her travels.

Mosquitoes are devil birds.  I hate them.  I have at least 15 bites (that I can identify) that are the size of dimes on my body.  They itch like the dickens.  The fantastic part is that I sprayed myself with OFF three flippin' times!  The little devils LOVE me.  Stupid pests.

I hope my car is okay.  Also, I hope you're having a FABULOUS day!