Friday, August 7, 2009

Construct This...

I am currently living in a room. My old bedroom. Yes, I'm 29 and living in the room that my Mother and her sisters wallpapered and painted when I was 6 or 7 years old. The wallpaper is now half ripped down; thank me, for my sullen teenage years of systematically ripping strips of it off in rebelion. The glow-in-the-dark stars are still, for the most part, in place. Random scribbles that only I can recognize are on the ceiling, done in pencil. The mint green paint directly over the closet door is shot to heck from when I found real darts and Laura and I used to throw them into that board.

Half of my life is in one cousin's basement. Half in another. And yet, I still have a tremendous amount of crap in my life. I want more than anything to sort it. But I have no room for that. And so, I live in a room. A room where I am entirely surrounded by my junk. In heaping piles. Underneath and behind those piles is my Mother's craft room.

My time of living in this room is drawing to an end. I feel it. I'm nervous. Excited. Ready. And scared, like a child. What's next in my life? I have no idea. My time-line of living at home and helping out is almost up. If I stay much longer after that, my life will be an endless repetitive cycle of what it is now; funny stories and no sleep! More importantly, no progression. I really have no clue what is next. I have options, but nothing that captures my heart. I have ideas, but none that I feel are right...or that I can afford.

Hey, did I mention that the construction workers were cutting the lines into the freshly dried cement at 2:45 IN THE MORNING? I feel asleep around 2, then woke up at 2:48 to the road crews and their saw blades sheering through the flipping road. Honestly, people! What the heck?

Long story short, I'm drinking AMP energy drink at 9am.
This week couldn't be any more awesome than it has already been!

Ooo, I did see PUSH last night. Rental. Dakota Fanning was great in it, but I love her. No in-depth critique - because I was pretty tired and just wanted my brain lulled and numbed in the wee hours of the morning. But, I liked it. It's different. I appreciated that about it. It was the first roll that I've seen Dakota transitioning into "older" parts. Although, her maturity in the movie "Hound Dog" was fantastic.


chen said...

six months are up.

Your mother wanted nothing more than for you to take that next step. And her greatest fear is that you would not.

Legdahli said...

Yep. Yep. My aim has always been for Sept. or Oct. Simply because of all my road trips this Summer. I have no destination yet, for living. Plus, I'm poor. But believe me, I have enough friends in my life prodding me outta there! :)

I'm definitely ready to be on my own again.