Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Diet Crush and Patches

It's a Tuesday afternoon and everything about it is usual. Perhaps these are the things that make my life unique; the very fact that everything is ordinary to me and in that is where I find myself. It's odd. It's boring. Maybe I'm boring. I'm not sure. I'm sure the guy at the SuperValu Service Desk would tell you that I am indeed as normal as every other random shopper that cruises the aisles and sings along to the music at the top of their lungs.

I'm as normal as he is, at least. In December a customer reported that the wrapping paper in the Christmas Aisle kept falling down; the tubes wouldn't stand in their box. He assured her he will take care of it and thanked her for her troubles. As she walked away, he called over to one of the teenage baggers and instructed him to go and straighten the wrapping paper. After explaining the story to him, he assumed (naively) life will continue, but no, bagger boy stands there confused. Eventually the following dialogue took place:

Boy: The wrapping paper?
Man: Yes
Boy: Wait...what kind of wrapping paper? Christmas?
Man: (irritated now, knowing the wrapping paper is laying across the aisle) "No, the DICK wrapping paper."
Boy: (still confused, walks away)

I am normal.

As I sit here smelling the smell that mirrors that of paint thinner, I grow tired and wonder if this will eventually kill me. I stip my very-warm-at-this-point Diet Crush and stare at the Trucking Patches neatly stacked on my desk.

If this is normal......


chen said...

oooooooooooo, no. You gotta bust out, girl.